This week has been especially challenging for me. My beliefs have been challenged. Every core of my being has been challenged. I think all of you may have experienced this at some point in your life. What hurts me the most is that who I am, what I'm about is only about good intentions, only about giving and caring for others...caring for animals, God's animals but because our society has dubbed what we are all about, I have to challenge those that are naive about what they don't know. And what comes after that? What they don't know, scares them. I have been especially emotional lately and the last few days I have found myself crying. Crying because I so badly want to be me. I want to be me in a society that has standards for LIFE. I respect the living, I respect the dead...I even respect those darn annoying little ants that get into our kitchen cupboards. Yep...I can't just wipe 'em up like everyone else does. I have to scoop them all up and throw them outside so they can live their little lives continuing to annoy all of us because that's what they're about. That's what they do. Who am I to disrupt nature (because they're only searching for bits and pieces of food to survive on)? I'm allowing those little ants to be themselves. I know I must sound wacko at this point. Okay, so maybe that's going a little too far but did I get my point across at all?
I'm being challenged. Challenged. I've heard that word throughout my life, time and time again. Michelle, you're being challenged. Michelle, challenge yourself. Michelle, he's asking for a challenge. And each time I was challenged, it made me stronger, as me, than before.
So. I am being challenged. All I can say is look out because a stronger me is going to emerge from all of this. The nice me, I should add, with even more love to give than ever before. ;)
I quote Aunt Frances from the movie Practical Magic.
"My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!"
Blessings to all and to all a good night. xoxo
I'm being challenged. Challenged. I've heard that word throughout my life, time and time again. Michelle, you're being challenged. Michelle, challenge yourself. Michelle, he's asking for a challenge. And each time I was challenged, it made me stronger, as me, than before.
So. I am being challenged. All I can say is look out because a stronger me is going to emerge from all of this. The nice me, I should add, with even more love to give than ever before. ;)
I quote Aunt Frances from the movie Practical Magic.
"My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!"
Blessings to all and to all a good night. xoxo
Ok, are you sure it is not hormones?? That can color everything! Personally, I have often felt as you do...until one day I realized that even if I could be me in every place I go... I wouldnt. With every change of moment, person, circumstance, I am someone slightly different. I do not relate the same way to my husband as I do anyone else. I keep alot from the people at my work and even if I knew it was safe, I wouldnt. I just have to make places where it is OK to release those things I keep underwraps. If something is bothering me continually, perhaps it is because I am not allowing something precious to my authenticity to come out at all OR somewhere I compromise something important to me. When I go through things you describe, in the end something really good ends up coming out...because I was challenged!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling my friend!!! Something good awaits you!
you know, i've found that people tend to malign compassionate or "different" people because they are not courageous enough to step up and take a stand-- perhaps they want to in some respect, but they are too afraid, so they go with what's acceptable in society. and you are a reflection of what they know they should be or secretly want to be.
ReplyDeleteso don't ever feel like you should back down. always be true to what you think is right, and feel proud of it. (:
I can relate to what you speak of. I guess that's why i'm so "solitary." - because of all the challenges that the naive, uninformed, and higly critical people bestow upon us. I understand also what Angie is saying. Most people find their "strength" in numbers. Yet, they do not realize OUR numbers. Don't be afraid to stand your ground - all the good you are doing and will do will come back to you! And you can bet your britches that Goddess is watching and is standing right there with you through all your challenges. So, be comforted AND be courageous sister!
ReplyDelete~hugz~
I couldn't be more eloquent than the above comments - I agree whole-heartedly! Be yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks.
ReplyDeleteAnd PS - I am terrified of insects, yet capture them and toss them into the backyard whenever they are in the house. So you have some strange company in that department - LOL!
Being true to yourself is something I am finding very difficult. You would think in this day and age people would be more enlighted. You are a beautiful soul, just remember that.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs))
i wish i had an aunt francis....oh wait, i think i am aunt francis!!!!! hang in there!!!1 the lamp is actually a curling lamp from canada. i just painted it and had the shade made to make it look different!
ReplyDeleteLove that movie and that quote.
ReplyDeleteYou're already amazing...so I can't wait to see this new and improved model. :)
)O(
boo
I even left the weeds in a certain area of my garden because i didn't want to disturb the ant family. I hate it when they get all panicked and start carrying the eggs around. I want to tell them, "hey, it's ok, I didn't know you were here...it's ok!." :) Thank you for sharing this. I have been shedding labels for several years now. There comes a point where it's harder to hide who we are (or aren't) than it is to fight against "their" opinions of it.
ReplyDeleteEverything everyone said I just cannot say any better~
ReplyDeleteKeep being the Beautiful and caring Soul that you are and Yes, the Goddess is watching and knows all the good that is within and around you!~
Hugs,
Jenn
Oh Michelle, how your words sound so familiar. And how I do understand the feelings it can pull up into you. Yet you have such a good attitude in regards to it. It is clear you are a kind soul and yes your intentions are good.... Believe in yourself and pull strength from those around you that lend it. Who wants to be normal anyway...
ReplyDeleteBlessings... Raelin
Sounds to me like a few things, here:
ReplyDelete1.)You are awesome. Everything you say and do points to that universal truth.
2.)You have good taste. *^_^*
3.)You cleared this problem right up by the time you finished this post! That takes courage, strength, know-how, prefect love and prefect trust in who you are and how you deal with the world/people around you! Those who challenge you should only be so lucky to have half an iota the conviction of faith you have in the tip of your little toe! People challenge others' beliefs because they are simply unsure of themselves and their own beliefs. Let them doubt, because, sooner or later they will be whistling a whole 'nother tune come next Spring. Fight the good fight, Lady!
You are Awesome! *~_^*